Life Is Not That Easy
by Alphonse2lover
Summary: Ed and Al were ordered to protect a girl named Lela. Her parents were murdered yet everything has been ok but Life is Never that easy. Suck At Summeries. Only posted because I worked hard!


The Never Ending Blowjob

**Chapter One A New Mission and A Suspension**.

Lela slowly opens her eyes to find Edward glaring at her first thought was she must have over slept… again.

"Get up! You are already running late by 20 minutes. And also, did you sleep ok?" Edward says annoyed by the fact there was a black fur ball getting ready to claw his eyes out of their sockets.

"Yeah, and thanks for the rude awakening, Shadow calm down." Lela replies glaring up at the sun as if it would go away.

"You're welcome, oh and Al made us breakfast. HOLY CRAP!" Ed said rushing the last part while attempting to doge a raging fur ball from hell failing miserably

"Oh thanks I need something to keep me going today. It is pre-exam week." Lela says while sniffing the air as a salty scent fills her senses. "Is that what I think it?"

"Well what do you think it is?" Ed says teasingly.

"Stop being such a smartass Ed, I know it's bacon." Lela says as she throws the covers back lazily and stumbles down the stairs leading towards the kitchen.

"Good morning." Al chimed happily.

"Huh? oh you to. Where is the bacon?" Lela say's while taking a seat on the counter top.

"Umm. Why do you always sit on the counter?" Al asked.

"Cause I feel like it, and to bug you." Lela said crossing her legs.

"You need to get ready unless you want to be late for school." Al said while glancing at the kitchens clock.

"Well you do have a point. So make that bacon to go." Lela said while darting to the bathroom.

"Um. It's not bacon it is sausage…." Al said getting ready to block a flying object.

Suddenly a hairbrush fly's out of the bathroom missing Al but smashing a cookie jar instead.

"Nice aim, just next time aim for Al and not the breakables." Ed said before tripping on his pant leg and top poling down the stairs.

"And next time get pants that actually fit you." Lela snapped back as she ran to the laundry room grabbing a pair of jeans and a striped tank top.

"And maybe you should act like a girl!" Ed said instantly regretting he had done so. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his left cheek, and was knocked over by the force of cat meeting human. "Damn cat!"

"Hey! Be nice to Shadow! She does a better job of protecting me than you do!" Lela said while picking up her feline sister and walks back into the bathroom.

"Well sorry! It's not my fault you can't stay out of trouble!" Ed said picking himself off the floor rubbing his cheek from the newly formed scratch.

"Brother stop being a jerk. In addition, you deserved that to be honest. And also Lela your shirt is inside out." Al said while trying to prevent conflict...

"Crap, thanks Al." Lela said while removing her shirt to turn it right side out and replacing it back on her body.

"Sure! You be nice to her but not your own blood. Jeez Al you would pick a girl over your own brother?" Ed say's pretending to be hurt.

"Brother, shut up. You suck at acting to you know. Try keeping the smile out of your voice." Al said rolling his eyes.

"Well I'm out! I will see you next week!" Lela said while scooping up her cat and darting out the door.

Al turned to his older sibling and glared.

"What did I do?" Ed says innocently.

"You are a jerk to almost all the girls you know. Especially Lela, not to mention Winry." Al said still glaring holes into his head.

"Am not! And Winry is too much of a drama queen any ways." Ed says cleaning his new scratch with rubbing alcohol, cringing once and a while.

"What ever I am not going to argue with you. Oh and Roy called we have to go we have a new mission." Al said while climbing the stairs to start packing.

"What is it this time? He ran out of doughnuts?" Ed said while sighing loudly.

"No they found an old wear house that has a transmutation circle. They want us to figure out what it does, or what it leads to." Al said tossing Ed's suitcase onto his bed.

"So what we are his stunt men now? He is to chicken to do it himself. He's such a coward."

"Brother! That's not it! He is going to be helping us, its just going to be the three of us there. It's in Liore."

"He is going to be there with us? You're kidding me right?"

"No I'm not."

"Ugh! Fine I'll go but I'm not going to like it." Ed than run's up the rest of the stairs where Al is already packing his suitcase full of clothes. Ed than takes a seat next to Al and cramp's any thing that will fit which is 2 pair's of pants and a few shirts and a crap load of alchemy books. Soon after they finish packing, they head off to the train station where they board and leave Central.

Lela's POV

Crap, I am late! Lela thinks to her self while running down the street. Not watching where she is going she run's into a newspaper stand knocking down Greg. "Oh my god I am so sorry!" Lela says while quickly picking the fallen produce off the ground and once again runs toward the school. After arriving at school, she quickly makes her way to her science class expecting the worst. Lela silently creaks open the door and try's making her way to her desk unnoticed failing in the process.

"Miss Douglass! Why are you late again?" Mrs. Fretlem nearly scream's from behind her desk.

"I-I I slept in again." Lela said telling the truth for once.

"How immature. Why don't you make up for it after school? My office 3:25 pm. Not a second later! Mrs. Fretlem roared her face turning red.

"Okay Mrs. Fat lamb." Lela slapped her mouth as soon as the words left her vocal chords. A sickening silence fell over the room as the teacher rouse from her desk.

"What did you say young lady?" Mrs. Fretlem said now hovering over the scared teen.

"I-I said Mrs. Fretlem." Lela said trying not to collapse from nervousness.

"Don't lie to me young lady. Go straight to the principal's office at once!"

"Okay." Lela slowly walked down the hall but halted as she herd a sudden scream from her classroom.

"It's a rat! There is a rat!" A female classmate screamed.

"Crap, Shadow!" Lela called her cat trying to calm the scared animal who was hiding under a near by desk.

"Miss Douglass! Get t-that THING out of my class room this instant!" Mrs. Fretlem hollered while standing on her desk pointing at the frightened feline who was clinging to Lela in attempt to comfort herself.

"I'm so sorry! I forgot she was in my bag. I had to take her today because I am going to my grandpa's place and-"Lela was cut off by the hiss of her companion.

"Lela control your cat! Go back home or where ever you were and return her at once! And don't both coming back till after school where we are going to have a long chat about responsibility." Mrs. Fretlem said shoving Lela out of the classroom, and slamming the door in her face.

"Huff, that was interesting." Lela than made her way threw the silent halls leading to the school's main entrance. Lela stepped out into the blinding sunlight. Lela started to head to a near by lot where she would wait until after school to be lectured about her life style. Sense when did the teachers had the right to tell her how to live her life. It was none of their business. Sure, she might not be good at alchemy or understand it for that matter. However, that doesn't mean she is dumb. At least she didn't think she was. Other's can say she is dumb but they don't know her. How would they know anyways? Where she came from, she was the smartest girl in her grade. Until she was forced to move because of Scar. Her parents where alchemists and had been killed by Scar nearly 2 months ago. That's when Cornel Roy Mustang sent her to live with Edward and Alphonse Elric. The famous brother's who where protectors of the land. Alternatively, as they called them self's, dogs of the military, pones of the state, stunt men for the cowards who ran this country. Sounds glorious right? Psh wrong! She wished, the brothers where so over worked it was sickening but how they kept together was overwhelming. If you where to attempt to figure them out you'd fail because it was like trying to eat a nut that was still in it's shell, impossible. So she usually went with the flow and pretended to know what they where talking about, which she was very dumbfounded. All this talk about circles and a par ell world. It all seemed too unreal like it was a fairy tale meant to comfort infants. She has never witnessed Ed and Al performs it in front of her. Never did she see her parents. Therefore, it was hard to believe in something you have never seen before. It's like trying to believe in mermaids.

Before Lela knew it, she had arrived at the park, still lost in her thoughts she sat down on the bench. It must of been at least 45 minuets till Lela's train of thought crashed when a defining scream came from a near by tree. Lela turned her head quickly catching a small explosion than heard a sickening crack as the skull split open as blood shoot out from the victims head splattering all over the ground. The now lifeless body fell limply to the ground. Lela took a daring glance at the murders face, who suddenly glared right back at her, his red eyes full of rage and lust for bloodshed, which gave a sickening look to the ishabalan. Lela felt the blood run from her face; she instantly knew her face was ghostly white as sudden flashbacks of lifeless alchemists who had their head literally turned inside out rushed into her head. She suddenly recognized this creature; Lela gave a defining scream her ears ringing as the name repeatedly screamed in her head. That thing's name was Scar. Without a second to spare a swift movement caught her eye seeing that Scar was now only meters away arm raised ready to claim her as his next victim. She knew he only went after state alchemists, so why her? What did she ever do to him? Without another thought Lela slammed her eyes shut, expecting the worst to happen, when suddenly the crack of a gun fire rang her ears, moments past, feeling like hours to her, after she knew it was over she opened her eyes to see Riza Hawkeye shooting countless rounds at the fleeing figure. Her brain registered a sharp pain in her arm; Lela looked down to see her cat biting hard on her arm. She smiled slightly knowing that her cat was trying to get her to move. Lela looked up to see Riza was now kneeling beside Lela.

"Are you okay Lela?" Riza said calmly as if she was a scared animal.

"Yea, just a bit shaken up." Lela said petting Shadow who had finally let go of her arm.

"Okay, But why are you not at school?" Riza said looking suspicious.

"Oh, uh well you see, I got the suspended for the day." Lela said staring at the ground.

"Hmm well what did you do this time?" Riza said while returning to her hard-ass self.

"Well first I was late, than she caught me with Shadow. Moreover, than I called her fat lamb.

"Typical. Well I am going to have to take you too central with me. I'm sure Havoc will be glad to see you." Riza said standing up and brushing off invisible dirt.

"Ugh, He is the last guy I want to see." Lela complained as she followed Riza to her car.

"Well, your going have to suck it up, Hughes should be there to." Riza said climbing into the driver's side.

"Oh god! If he even try's to show me those photos I swear I am going to burn them, than shove the ashes in his eyes!" Lela said crossing her arms in an attempt to pout.

"Calm down, just ignore him." Riza said pulling off the curb and onto the road.

"When has that ever worked for you?" Lela said glaring at Riza.

"That's not the point." The rest of the ride was silent. All that could be herd was even breathing and the occasional sigh.

End of Chapter 1

≈‡**­­ Authors Note!‡ (Please Read, It isn't really important but I think its funny)≈ **

Well Okay well first, I am sorry for my bad grammar, and for the bad plot, and for every other goddamn thing I did wrong. However, frankly, if you do not like it go hug a tree! In addition, if you are really feeling suicidal go jump off the bottom step! Alternatively, you can shove your head up your ass and breathe deeply!

Ha-ha joking. Do not do any of those, unless you want to make a tree feel special… Which usually means you have something seriously wrong with you OR you are from the sixties and magically appeared inn the future…? One is possible and the other is not I hope.

On the other hand, you are a mars ion who has come to tell me that your species did not give Jesus steroids or emptied your sewage tanks on the earth's service causing the great flood. Moreover, that your people did not move that big stone in front of Jesus tomb, stole his corps, and made a clone of him. However, enough of my bible theories that piss off all bible thumpers alike…

Nevertheless, anyways, I hoped you like it; I love reviews, especially ones from flamers. I enjoy having some one bitch me out cause it tells me what not to do. Ha-ha

But yea, This story was originally on Quizilla (it was really shitty and I hated it and I had like 4 chapters done, but they were so firkin bad, the plot was messed up and made no sense and also I gave up on it and decided to start it ALL over. Using the same characters. Very different plot though.) Anyways. I worked on this while I was camping, and first part I was hyper than I got bitchy cause my dad than I decided to work on it cause it is raining really hard here. Lol but anyway hoped you enjoyed rate and review! I know very boring right. Wrong! Call now and I will give you a kick in the ass free! (I think I watch too many infomercials) Nevertheless, I am done boring you so I am going to go pork out on cake! Ta-Ta!

Yours truly, CANADIANS MAKE THE BEST MAYPLE SYRUP! A.k.a Kookeh-Monster. On the other hand, some retarded 13-year-old girl with absolutely nothing better to do than right a long authors note just to piss most people off.

Ha-ha, Bai!

ξόηγå.**ω**


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